Horse Shows

A year ago at this time I had my little baby, Joey, at his first show. My stall buddy was Syd with her giant pony, Piper. We ate so much fricken junk food we were both riding with sore stomachs. It was the only show we did last summer so we were going to make the best of it.... Obviously. 

Being at the show this year without her is giving me an empty feeling. I miss having her making me laugh everytime I get stressed or forcing me to keep eating long after I reached my limit. I find everyday I have something I want to tell her, getting ready for a show alone is giving me an ich to call her and tell her everything that's on my mind. I miss her. I find myself sitting alone watching the low hunter decisions and wondering how all these people seem to be so stressed about their horses not being perfect when all I can think about is my best friend. Obviously, I want to do well this weekend on Max but I find I am not stressing about anything. I have my tack and my show clothes, everything else will be fine. If Max loses his brain I'll live... Partly because I'm used to him forgetting it in his stall most days. It's funny to think that a year ago I was so stressed that my braids weren't perfect and that Joey had a massive poop stain in his side that wouldn't come out no matter how much I scrubbed it. Maybe I'm less stressed because this is my first show in 10 years without a grey to clean. More likely it's because if I have learned anything these past four months it's that life is bitterly short. It's too short but I guess that gives it value. The more rare an item the higher the price... The higher the value. Truly living is a rare thing.

Even though I can't shake the empty feeling in my chest or I can't seem to hold my tears back this weekend I also feel extremely thankful that I am alive to feel these emotions. Because even with these low feelings I am also happy that Max has been amazing these past few jump lessons. I wish I could be jumping big fences right now with him but I am thankful I am here showing, even if it's only a few little hunter courses. My goal this show is to keep him relaxed and get around the courses smoothly. Nothing else matters to me other then giving him a good first show experience. 

I'll be hacking Fonzy around the show this weekend too. I broke down on him yesterday. Feeling guilty that my horse and I are showing and Syd's horse is here but she doesn't get to oppertunity to ride him got to me. I don't know how I got so lucky to be trusted with her baby, I can't thank her loved ones enough for trusting me with him. 

I hope that everyone here at Mid Summer has a stress free show. We are all gifted with amazing, wild creatures. The fact that they trust us to sit upon their backs should be enough to smile about. I hope that everyone can remember that all the hard work we put in every day is deserving of a red ribbon, even if you don't get one this weekend. We ride to feel free, to fly, no validation is needed for that feeling. 

Much Love,

Megan