Banana

I'm 20. I don't have a life plan, a career plan or even a day to day plan. What I do have is an outlook on life that can't be broken. Maybe it can bend for the better, very rarely it bends for the worse... I stay true to my values. I'm fairly strong willed. I don't take shit from anyone and I don't let anyone change my mind when it comes to my values.

*Quick side note*

To me, values are something we all as individuals need to figure out for ourselves. Once we have our core set of values they cannot be changed (unless by dramatic life events.) We can pretend to change them but life will always knock us back into a place where we have to be true to ourselves again. Life can be so annoying that way. So, just stay true to yourself and you will find the path you are supposed to be on. 

Okay, back to me being strong willed. This isn't something that I have ever had a hard time doing. It comes naturally for me to stick to behaviours that are important to me. All through highschool I never gave into any sort of peer pressure, I never drank, I never partied, I never did drugs. It all seemed so silly to me. So I just didn't do it. Highschool can be a tough place for some people, it's easy to get lost. You're trying to figure out your own values, maybe rebelling against your parents, and you have kids telling you what you should do or what you should believe. It can be a mad house but I managed to stay true to me through it all.

My values haven't changed much since highschool but I have added some. Honesty is something I have always demanded from my close circle of people, that has grown even more this past year. Something that has changed dramatically since I've graduated is my outlook on life... Particularly since Syd's passing. I now realize there is a huge difference between making a life and making a living. Some people make themselves a life and a living, some make one or the other, and some very lucky individuals have manged to make them the same thing. I think (in my limited life experience) that the way to have your life and living be the same thing is through your passion. I also think that some individuals want to have them seperate. No one has the same life goals, so why would everyone want to have their passion also be their career? I know I want mine to be but that doesn't make it the "right" way. It's just my way. 

I mention quite a bit that people need to spend more time alone. I think this is just another reason why it has benefited me. This is one of the things I ponder in silence, it's one of the things that I have learned about myself. Yesterday I didn't even realize there was a difference but now, just sitting outside alone, I have grown in the last 20 min. I have grown to realized not only that there is a difference but which one I want out of my life.

Self growth is something I never gave much thought to in the past. Recently however, I have become slightly obsessed with it. Maybe that makes me a weirdo but I don't care because I am comfortable with who I am. Even the parts of me that aren't understood by everyone. 

There isn't a huge lesson that goes along with this post. It's just random thoughts that are currently dancing across my mind. Which is making it really hard to think of a title for this post. I think I'll just call it Banana or something random.

Much Love,

Megan and her wondering mind