Lucky people are those who have a dream or a goal, to chase. To put everything they have into reaching it. But what about the people like myself who can’t seem to come up with something to work towards? I’ve focused my energy into decorating our home and learning how to raise our beautiful baby boy. These things fill my day and truly make me happy. However, all the walls are filled in our house and I’ve learned that raising a baby is actually done best when you are not researching how to do it.
So now what? Daxton keeps me busy and keeps teaching me new things about myself every day but I have this driving force inside of me to fill my life with more passion. I want to set a goal for myself. I want to achieve this goal. I want to have a fuller plate. I’m just so damn picky. I won’t waste any of my energy on something that I don’t believe is great. I won’t pursue something that I don’t fully believe I will be the best at. I also won’t waste my time if I see a flaw in this goal. Even if it’s incredibly small. I’m just so damn picky.
I frustrate myself with my ability to find a reason wrong with all these ideas I get in my head. It’s making it nearly impossible for me to achieve what I want most right now... a dream.
My hope is that this attention detail will someday lead to my success. That my stubbornness will somehow help me find this perfect goal. That my drive will help me get there. This frustration I’m feeling is going to teach me something, maybe even unknowingly push me towards where I am supposed to be. In this moment though I’m defeated and angry.
Because I’m just so damn picky.
Much Love,
Megan
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